$chooltime i$ here

Taking a breather on credit card surveys for a minute, just to relate a few items from real life/real debt issues of this half crazy mother.  As this is a finance blog it seems appropriate to add in the school issues that prevail each year. I know budgets for everyone, including schools are tight.  For us single moms (or dads) struggling to pay our bills, there are two words that strike fear in our hearts- School Registration.

The dollar signs begin wafting through the air late in july, when the local schools release their lists of required supplies.  Kleenex? 3 Boxes a kid? Apparently the schools don’t care about the environment and should replace that purchase with the eco friendly handkerchief or shirt sleeves for that matter. Most primary kids I see are quite proficient with sleeves.  My theory is, “Why fight nature”?  Some kids even allow snot to dangle off their chins to save on sleeves. What a concept.

Then there’s binders.  Lots of choices there. Big, little, striped, polka dots, rock stars, pockets, etc.  Some classes require one for each subject. Ever try choosing these with girls who want everything to coordinate? AGGH. I need Valium and ample quanties of grain liquor for the prospect.  Plus a heck of alot of cash, as these suckers cost upwards of ten bucks.  Not only do I get the pleasure of going insane, I get to pay for it too…

Only a fifth of my kids has ever known what a  binder is used for. The rest have discovered  other more creative means to store homework and notes. They’ve employed under the bed, closet floors, jacket pockets  and socks to house information.   A  few refused to use paper and wrote notes on available body parts. Once a child came home with an entire geometry lesson written in permanent maker on her arm.  She used three colors. I toyed with decorating her instead of a tree at Christmas, due to the prevailing green and red diagrams.

I have brainiacs for kids. I ‘m never sorry, except when it comes to registration. Pre-calculus calculators. Retail cost $156.00???? What??? I had a melt down in the school office.  According to her Calculus teacher, toes and fingers are not effective  means to perform advanced math. Tell that to the ancient Egyptians who built a few pyramids that we still don’t (even with $156.00 calculators ) understand the means of construction. They were both creative and cheap.

 This same whiz kid also signed up for photography.  Quote: “Parents will be pleased to know 35mm cameras are available to rent for only $153.00″….. You get a hundred bucks back when you return them, but still????  Can’t we just use the cell phone I am paying for to snap a few pics??? You can do alot with Photoshop and shoddy photos. The National Enquirer routinely has added or taken a few hundred pounds off celebrities by employing such methods. Can’t my kid just get by?

Next stop, my youngest daughters registration. We had a wait time of 40 minutes just to get to the promised land of the registration table.  There it was determined, she needed shots and a sports physical for school and cross country. Eying her, I determined she looked fit to me. The last time I mentioned washing dishes she vanished like a shot, running a 4 minute mile dead from a standing position. I assume she will still be required to take a physical, in spite of this. There will of course be cross country shoes. $$$

I used to give my dog shots, and am contemplating if the pet supply store has a variety I can use on my child. In dog years, the pooch is 65 and he’s done fine with my immunizations.

There were art supplies at $38.00 and a lab fee $12.00 and God knows what else in the way of clothing. My son was easy on this part. He was fine with the same pair of jeans and two concert T-shirts for a whole year. The girls lament the fifty pairs of jeans and 200 shoes as “nothing to wear” and no matter what I buy, they will still steal my own clothing to wear on a regular basis….

I still don’t understand why we have to pay to rent textbooks either.  In college you buy the books. College kids either can keep them for later use or sell them for a six pack to another student. You could at least have a frat party out of the proceeds from textbooks. I am all for education, but not for the financial depletion of capital.  Did Abe Lincoln need a $156.00 calculator? Seems like he was pretty smart. 

Alas , I emptied my wallet and had my routine fit at school registration anyway. For simpler times! I miss the days when a cardboard box was a month of education and entertainment for my kids….