Free satellite television, like all those free lunches, simply does not exist. Advertised by hucksters and billion dollar companies alike, the notion of “free satellite TV” is designed to prey upon those who are looking to cut back on expenses (who isn’t?) or those looking to get something for nothing but have no idea the consequence of their actions. Looking past the fine print on offers from Dish Network and DirecTV regarding “free TV” and satellite pirates who try to recruit you into their gang, it’s actually cheaper to stick with a basic satellite plan. Plus you can sleep at night.

Seen through multi-colored paper flyers and internet ads, free satellite TV can either mean two things: Dish Network or DirecTV are offering free installation and are walking a fine line on truth in advertising or there are those who don’t even bother with the right side of the law and can provide consumers with equipment to obtain pirated satellite signals.

For DirecTV and Dish Network, both leading satellite providers used to run a lot of ads with “Free Satellite TV*” emblazoned across the top with big fancy fonts. Notice the asterisk? It means read the fine print because this is too good to be true and it is. When both companies run these types of ads, (they’ve greatly decreased them) what they mean is free installation, not free content. It’s still a good deal but don’t be fooled; once either company strolls up to your humble abode, they’ll get you set up for TV viewing but make no mistake, they are going to send you a bill for all channels you get. Still, as far as Johnny Law goes, paying a programming bill to its owner beats obtaining their signals through illegal means.

Many fly-by-night operations advertise free satellite television by selling off-shoot dish equipment and cards that will allow buyers to pick up signals without the burden of payment. There’s a catch. DirecTV and Dish will discover you and knock out your service. When they do, all you can do is return to your “provider” to have them reprogram your card for a price. You’d have to keep doing this every time your service is knocked out. Plus, it’s not out of the question that DirecTV and Dish would be able to detect locations and relay that information to local authorities.

In the end, it’s just plan easier and cheaper in the long run to obtain satellite service through, let’s say, traditional methods. If you’re simply looking to slash budgetary costs, going with either DirecTV or Dish and purchasing their cheapest plan is the way to go. Both companies offer basic plans which run around $24.99 to $29.99 before tax with additional fees for HDTV and DVR service though Dish Network’s plan is the cheapest. The “DishFamily” package provides local channels and a handful of popular channels like Animal Planet, Discovery, Nickelodeon, TV Land and Fox News. Using each company’s “free offer,” installation is free up to four rooms along with dish positioning and receivers. DVRs may cost extra. Legal and cheap usually wins and, in this case, it does.

Getting a mortgage, post bankruptcy has proven the Holy Grail of my current credit pilgrimage. In former bleaker fiscal times, I had neither credit nor income to even ponder the possibility. I rented a nice home, or rather a series of them.  Like many with poor credit, I was at the mercy of landlords. I was gouged financially with deposits, or paid out the nose in rent.

Renting and trying to save is a vicious cycle. I am weary of being on the wheel, endlessly running but never winning the race. I seek permanency. I need walls that aren’t “renter” egg shell white.

I swear I will kiss the ground every time I arrive at my very own home (and possibly run around the house naked screaming like a chicken).

I turned 44 a few weeks ago with a determination to obtain that home. Other than an act of God, it’s going to take hard work. I have to cut expenses to save real money. There is only one way to do that, shy of selling the children. I began to question, “What am I willing to sacrifice to reach that goal?”

As my current lease is expiring in four weeks, I discovered another option. It may kill me in the end, but it’s one I am committed to. I found a place to rent at half of what I am currently paying. Not only will I save in rent, it’s far smaller- which means utility savings, too. It can’t cost much to heat a shoe box.

I soon will have a lovely view of a pit bull pen. Soothing sounds of trains on the nearby track will lull me to sleep. The inside is new and clean, but no frills. I can save a ton. (By my best estimate, almost a thousand dollars a month). In two years, if I am frugal, I can have enough to not only pay some residual bills, but also produce a sizeable down payment.

I can do this. I hope.

I told the kids today. This went over like Hiroshima. “What? We have to move? Again?”

From the oldest, still-at-home child, age 18, came the sound of a door slamming. Its force, I am sure, registered a seismic shock large enough to spawn tsunamis in Fiji.

The middle daughter was only concerned by how many receptacles were in the bathroom, for her multiple hair appliances.

And the youngest merely cried herself to sleep.

It was a grand day.

I am still certain, in spite of the kids’ response; I am doing the right thing. A goal is not a goal if you don’t work toward it. Always before I have taken the path of providing the short term, “fix”. We currently have a lovely home on the lake. But it’s not ours, and we pay a small fortune for it. Spending money foolishly has become a pet peeve of mine since my bankruptcy. I am tired of doing so anymore.

The coming weeks, months and possibly- years- will be no doubt a bit painful. We will make the best of it, though. Some of us will transition easier.

But the goal, in the end, will be worth the effort spent. Which brings me to ask- “What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve a credit goal?” I’d be curious to hear. (If the children don’t murder me in my sleep, that is).

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